Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain was a big revelation to me during lockdown. Somehow it felt a fitting book to read, as introverts everywhere – whose preferences often feel sidelined in a loud, extroverted world – cherished the perks of staying at home. Cain’s outline of how the ‘Extrovert Ideal’ became lionised in western culture throughout the twentieth century is fascinating; her emphasis on how introverts make superb leaders eye-opening; and her suggestions for when you should act more extroverted than you really are, pretty useful – advice to which I know I’ll keep returning.
But what really got me thinking from a church perspective was her analysis of evangelical Christian preference for extroversion. Using Saddleback church as an example, she points out that everything in a typical evangelical service involves gregarious communication: “the mandatory smile-and-good-morning at the start of the service”, the expressive worship, the emphasis on community and participation, the expectation to meet and evangelise non-Christians. A disconcerted evangelical introvert interviewed by Cain comments, “There was no emphasis on quiet, liturgy, ritual, things that give you space for contemplation.”
It is something I’ve thought before, but it really hit me then: the Catholic Church is an introvert’s paradise. With our traditional, ‘vertical’ emphasis on silence and liturgy above ‘horizontal’ self-expression and communication, we provide a haven for introvert Christians.
Speaking as an introvert (full disclosure!), in some ways this is beautiful. It is a way of worship that runs counter to the ‘Extrovert Ideal’ of the culture. It takes the spotlight off ourselves and focuses on the Other, from subjective to objective.
From the point of view of evangelisation, though, I think we can be far too skewed towards introvert preferences. Whether we like it or not, our culture is oriented towards what Charles Taylor calls, an ‘ethos of authenticity’, which finds a close ally in the Extrovert Ideal. When our church services do not reference the personal, when people arrive and leave completely anonymously without interacting with each other, church can be a haven to introvert Catholics, but it feels alien and cold to those steeped in what Taylor calls, “expressive individualism.”
Take, for example, just one snippet from my research. One Catholic parishioner commented about,
…the normal British, you know, reticence, we’re embarrassed to talk about ourselves. … And I think some people do have a view of the church being somewhere you go for quiet, you know, it’s my spiritual trip, I’m going to church to be with God, and almost sometimes to escape. I have people, all week I’m at work, you know meet some of the people who have all the problems of the human race, how nice to go to Mass on a Sunday and – just spiritual dimension, not whether I earn more or less or better or worse than that person. … People don’t always want contact, not to be nasty, but just don’t always want contact. … But I think if you went to an evangelical church, and I haven’t been to very many, but it is very much the focus of joining in, community, with your fellow believers. So I don’t think it’s just [our] parish … I think this is probably a bit of a Catholic syndrome perhaps.
We as Catholics may be pretty comfortable with Mass as “my spiritual trip”, with not having an upbeat leader encourage us to greet each other, with the acceptability of non-participation. But these are the areas where, I argue, our introverted preferences are “self-referential”, detrimental to the growth of our church, and unwelcoming to seekers, or those who may be hanging on to their religious practice by a thread (Why Catholics Leave gives many examples of how an ‘unwelcoming’ atmosphere triggered their lapsation).
In one of the final chapters of Cain’s book, she has a rigorously researched chapter on when you should act more extroverted than you really are. She shares that someone who is inherently introverted has “free traits” which allow them to choose to be more extroverted when the situation demands it. You do this when, as an introvert, you throw a big party for your extroverted husband’s significant birthday. You do it when you give an important speech or sales pitch for work, or tell humorous anecdotes at a dinner party. We do it all the time for the sake of people and causes that are close to our heart. The mission of the church should be no different. Yes, silence and liturgy is essential and has a vital place. But, if we are serious about attracting people steeped in our ‘Extrovert Ideal’ culture, expressive worship, charismatic preaching and over-the-top hospitality are equally needed.
